Climate Change Activists Begin Licking Doorknobs To Contract Coronavirus And Reduce Human Population

The Babylon Bee (satire) U.S.—Most people are pretty worried about the coronavirus since we’ve all seen Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman or lost a bunch of games of Pandemic. But climate change activists are welcoming the potential epidemic and are beginning to lick doorknobs in order to contract the virus and remove themselves from the human… Read More Climate Change Activists Begin Licking Doorknobs To Contract Coronavirus And Reduce Human Population

Ingrid Woke: PETA Prez Turned On Being Kept in a Tiny Cage

The Onion (Satire) NORFOLK, VA—In an unexpected change of course that sent shockwaves across the animal-rights-activist community, a sudden sexual awakening experienced by PETA president Ingrid Newkirk led to her announcement Monday that being kept in a tiny cage all day “actually sounds hot as hell.” “This is obviously a new perspective for me, but… Read More Ingrid Woke: PETA Prez Turned On Being Kept in a Tiny Cage