Happy Halloween everyone! I hope all of you have a safe, fun-filled holiday! I know many of you may want to do something, but feel helpless because of all of the activities environmentalists are involved in. A 2008 US News and Word Report article has some great suggestions (with some minor revisions of my own) on how you can use the occasion of Halloween to protest environmentalism. The article suggests eight great costumes you can use to take your stand. They are:
Safari Hunter — [Tell environmentalists, “I love to hunt animals for food and sport],” with a sexy safari costume, complete with a shotgun.]
Grocery Bag — Who needs reusable grocery bags when the store gives out the plastic and paper ones free? Show environmentalists that their conservation efforts are all for naught by making yourself a grocery bag costume (or “gross-ery” as this child has done—instructions are the same). Cover a box in butcher paper to make your bag, and then fill it with overpackaged food that has traveled halfway across the country to your store—kiwis and triple-plastic-wrapped white bread, along with plenty of bottled water and eggs that aren’t free range.
Sushi — [Sushi chefs across the country aren’t always using sustainable seafood in their ingredients. If you decide to make this California roll costume, be sure to carry your sushi guide with you and point out that you’re made of imported king crab.]
Lumberjack — You’re a lumberjack, and you don’t care about the environmentalists, who will hear about the resources you consume. Be sure to tell them you don’t recycle paper, either. Sub out the ax or chain saw for a rifle and earmuffs, and this costume can easily be transformed into aerial wolf hunter.
Gas Pump — Show those green hippie wusses what America really runs on. Now that the price of gas is lowering, couple your “told you so” smugness with plenty of mentions of your Hummer limo, conveniently idling outside for the duration of the party. Here’s a gas pump costume (note: it contains an off-color but safe-for-work joke).
Steak — [Real Americans eat meat, so when you wear this T-bone steak around, be sure to remind all of your vegetarian and flexitarian friends how delicious the taste of grilled, seasoned animal flesh can be, with a cheerful “Enjoy your tofu burgers!”]
Sarah Palin — One of the most popular costumes of the year, our candidate who said that the cause of climate change “kinda doesn’t matter” would kinda be a great costume to irritate your green friends. Get a Sarah Palin mask, and accessorize with shotgun, canned salmon, and dead polar bear stuffed animals.
Cow With Whoopee Cushion — [Cows are alleged to be the biggest animal contributors to global warming because of the methane they, to put it politely, emit. Get a cow costume and a whoopee cushion, which you can use on yourself or place under the chair of anyone dressed as Al Gore.]
The last costume idea is a bit crude and the author of the original article is obviously a Leftist. If you are feeling edgy and like to cow costume, have at it. I do like ideas for costumes in this write up despite the snarky-tone of this article.