In October I wrote about a commentary authored by the head of an environmentalist group pointing out how Halloween candy contributes to climate change. In reality, what it really does is demonstrates how environmentalists are eco-Puritans. Any and all activities (especially those that give humans pleasure) are condemned using the excuse of actions (like making Halloween candy) contributes to the demise of the planet.

Now, the UK Guardian has published an editorial making the case that the consumer frenzy surrounding Black Friday is bad for the environment. As opposed to The Huffington Post publishes the Halloween candy essay as a commentary, the UK Guardian makes it an official stance of the paper since it comes right from their editorial board. The Guardian has the audacity not only to run this tripe as an editorial but also does so with a sneering sarcasm which is indicative of the spoiled-brat attitude environmentalists have for people who have things they don’t. Some selections from the piece include:

Among these previously unimagined necessities are ‘Phantom drones,’ an armless, legless and headless robot that rolls around the floor bidden by your smartphone, and a watch that counts down to the anticipated day of your death. Perhaps the watch makers will produce a sequel that estimates when civilisation will collapse if all these devices run on fossil-fuel power – accelerating as more and more are bought.

We’re now in the hangover of a newly invented, suddenly imported and bizarrely inappropriately named tradition, Black Friday, that will have seen houses stuffed even fuller with plug-in devices. And, you wonder, as Black Friday rolls into Cyber Monday and ‘Where Am I Going To Put This Tuesday,’ how much room do we have left as the Christmas rush is only just beginning?

Mustn’t forget how UK homes emit those greenhouse gas emissions or how much those upgrading kits clutter one’s home should we?

Homes account for nearly one-third of UK greenhouse gas emissions. And, between 1970 and 2009 the number of consumer electronic gadgets in a typical UK household increased by 11 times helping to push up energy consumption over the period by 600%. Even as individual gadgets might become more energy efficient, such gains get drowned out by the sheer amount of stuff.

Upgrading kit can mean downgrading the climate friendliness of technology. When traditional cathode ray tube television sets were replaced with plasma screens, for example, electricity use typically increased fourfold. And, from 1990 to 2009 the number of all household electrical appliances increased three and half times.

Now start scaling back on that materialism and stop buying so much stuff you UK Guardian reader packrats, you:

So much stuff, in fact, that when advertisers who once described themselves as ‘consumption engineers’ got together with the engineers of new tradition who came up with Black Friday, one section of the economy was always going to win: storage companies. In 2012, Yellow Box, the company that provides units for household added storage space that was the equivalent of about 30 Tesco Metro stores. Now of course they could probably just move into the Tesco stores built but never opened since the supermarket hit hard times. Another storage company, Big Yellow, has said that over one-third of goods in storage have been there for three years or more.

In these hard times, we’re spending precious cash on energy hungry tech kit (that we never knew we needed) that environmentally will make times even harder. Or that, it turns out, we really didn’t need, and ends up in storage.

I won’t quote anymore. I will let you read the editorial for yourself. In short, all of this is tantamount to saying: Bah humbug! There isn’t a single human activity people are involved in that does not contribute to climate change and we are all guilty for it. We should be ashamed for our existence including the things we enjoy. It is the typical mean greenie scolding of people who want to buy things themselves and their families for Christmas. This is the most wonderful time of the year because we take time to remember and love the people so close and dear to us. Our decorating our homes for Christmas and buying gifts for our families and friends is a way to demonstrate how much we pride ourselves on our accomplishments and express our appreciation for the ones we cherish.

Since the Guardian editorial reels against materialism, if I lived in Great Britain and subscribed to the newspaper I would start scaling back my materialism by canceling my subscription after something like this. Everyone of the members of the Guardian editorial board deserves a lump of coal for this ridiculous, sarcastic rant. So do every members and heads of groups such as Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, PETA, Animal Liberation Front and Earth Liberation Front. I suppose the comfort I can take from editorials like this is that it leads to further backlash against environmentalists and what they stand for.