This is a real study and not from the pages of the Babylon Bee.
While humans might be mostly to blame for Antarctica’s snow melt, scientists are pointing to another surprising source of the a-thaw-calypse — penguin poop.
Per the study in the Journal of Geophysical Research: Biogeosciences, these flightless birds’ droppings are fertilizing algae blooms across the Antarctic Peninsula.
The penguins track fecal matter across the ice during their marches, prompting the spread of green snow that melts faster than its white counterpart. In turn, this bloom contributes to the rising temperatures that thaw the snow, further accelerating the greening of the frozen continent.
For most of this writer’s lifetime, environmentalists have repeatedly sounded the alarm about escalating sea levels. Even elementary school students were told that New York and Florida would be submerged. But both Orlando and New York City are still here.
Whenever environmentalists’ catastrophic forecasts fail to materialize, they move the goal posts to identify alternative contributors to climate change. This latest theory is particularly unusual but not surprising considering failed climate doom and gloom predictions over the years. However, as a result of this study, it would not be surprising if a proposal to slaughter penguins is floated in response to its findings.
If everything causes climate change, then nothing does. But, they have to keep the grant money flowing somehow.
Crappy feet indeed!
