Glitter in waterways and fish, oh my!

I don’t see how the mainstream media could have missed this. WPRI, a puny television station out of Providence, Rhode Island reports that scientists in the UK are urging the British parliament to ban glitter.

This must be some sort of conspiracy since it’s obvious the threat of glitter in England is so great that it should be more widely reported, especially here in the States. How could they have missed this? Don’t they realize how much of a serious problem glitter is???!!

Imagine someone slipping and falling while walking on London Bridge because someone recklessly put on too much glitter that fell on the ground. People could be poisoned or choke on glitter if parliament doesn’t ban this latest scourge of Mother Nature. Heck if it ends up in the ocean and fish consume it people who eat fish could be poisoned or even choke on it during dinner.

Even though the producers are making a variant that is biodegradable but environmentalists allege it doesn’t break down has to be true, right? They wouldn’t lie, would they? Even though after greens pushed to ban microbeads during 2014 and a study used to make their case was determined to be fake this year was just an honest mistake, wasn’t it?

Even though the science used to justify banning microbeads was junk, his time it is different for sure. Such an awful threat to our ecosystem could be anywhere at anytime and, by golly, it needs to be stopped! Glitter could even get into the ground and pollute the oil supply so when it is fracked the glitter than could get into automobiles and grind every car and truck in England to a halt!

Women don’t need to look great since they do not need it. That extra sparkle makes no difference to a woman’s beauty anyway. The glitter scourge cannot stand since women should not rely on such things to make themselves pretty. Beauty is only skin deep anyway, isn’t it?